A young girl with a bag is crossing the customs. Customs officers check her bag and find some kind of powder. They ask the girl:
– What kind of powder is that?
– Heroin
– But heroin is matte-white, and this powder is orange.
– This is a kids’ heroine – orange taste

Two blondes stand on opposite sides of a lake.

One blonde yells, “How do I get to the other side?”

The other blonde yells back, “You’re already on the other side!”

A blonde calls her mom…

Blonde: “Mom mom!! I’m a genius!”

Mother: “Really dear? How’s that possible?”

Blonde: “I finished a puzzle that I’ve been working on for 1 year and on the box it said ‘for 2-5 yrs’.”

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.
After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers”.
She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

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