There are 3 girls on a island. they are blond,

brunette and a black haired.
after 3 weeks of starvation god comes down and says “Go home already. i will give you 1 wish each. use it wisely.
the brunette says “i want to go home!” and poof she goes home.
the black says “i want to go home!” and poof she goes home.
the the blonde says “i want my friends back!”

 

There are three moms. A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde.They were all talking one day and the brunette says “Oh my gosh y’all I went through my daughter’s purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed.”

They comfort her, and the redhead says “Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter’s purse. I cannot believe she has one”. So they all comfort her.

Then the blonde says “That’s nothing. I found a condom in my daughter’s purse. I just cannot believe she has a penis”

We went to see a movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier.

Just as the feature was about to start, a blonde from the center of the row got up and started working her way out.

“Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me.”

By the time she got to me, I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient, so I said,

“Couldn’t you have done this a little earlier?” “No!” she said in a loud whisper. “The ‘TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE’ message just flashed up on the screen and mine is in the car.”

A blonde calls her mom… Blonde: “Mom mom!! I’m a genius!” Mother: “Really dear? How’s that possible?” Blonde: “I finished a puzzle that I’ve been working on for 1 year and on the box it said ‘for 2-5 yrs’.”

A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and with a screaming voice said, “I have a complaint!” “How can i help you?” said the librarian looking up at her. “I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!” Puzzled by her complain the librarian asked “What was wrong with it?” “It had way too many characters and there was no plot!” said the blonde. The librarian nodded and said, “Ahhh. So YOU must be the person who took our phone book.”

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