A blonde wanted to sell her car, but couldn’t find any buyers.

She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car. “235,000 miles.”

Her friend told her that was the problem.

But the blonde’s friend told her that her brother is a mechanic and could put back the miles to whatever she wanted.

So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put the miles at 40,000.

Two days later the blond’s friend asked her if she sold the car since her brother dropped the miles.

The blonde told her, “Why would I sell the car? There are only 40,000 miles on it!”

A blonde has sharp pains in her side.

The doctor examines her and says, “You have acute appendicitis.”

The blonde says, “That’s sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help.”

A blonde is driving a helicopter and it crashes.

When the police come and ask the blond what happened she says, “I got cold so I turned off the big fan!”

Death: It’s your time. give me your hand

Blonde: No! i know that if i dont touch you then I’ll never die!

Death: Holy shit! You figured out the key to living forever! You’re soooo smart! High five!

Blonde: *high fives*

Death: Typical blonde… Dumbass…

A blonde was sick and tired of people making fun of her for being a blonde, so she decided to hang herself.

A couple minutes later two men walk by and see her hanging by her wrists.

“What are you doing.” they ask her.

So she replies “Hanging myself.

“The men are confused and asked “If you are hanging youself, you put the rope around your neck.” The blond says “Duh….I tried that, I couldn’t breath.”

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