My friend’s father died last night so I asked him “What was the cause of his father’s death?”

He said, “A bus passed over his finger!”

I laughed and told him: “It is not a suitable cause.”

My friend said: “When the bus crashed, his finger was on his nose!”

A girl to her boyfriend: “I’m breaking up with you!”

“But why?”

“Because you’re constantly making fun of my weight!”

“Oh come on, honey, don’t be like that! Here, grab these two chairs, sit yourself down on them and we will talk it out.”

“Madam, your son just called me ugly!”

The mother apologizes shamefacedly, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look…”

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