I especially hate people that have life-after-death experiences because they’re just so full of it, you know? ‘Oh, I had an accident, and then I was headed towards this bright white light.’ You know, the first thing an ambulance crew does when they find an unconscious victim? They shine something in your eye.
A lot of things can kill you now. Ain’t this ridiculous? Mosquitoes can kill you now. Do you know how mad I would be if I died from a mosquito bite? I’m a black man, grew up on the south side of Chicago. I’ve avoided drug dealers, gang bangers, sickle cell, high blood pressure, the police — and now a mosquito gonna take me out?
They all think they’re in a gang — in New Hampshire. They’re hanging out at the mall as if that were their ‘hood. I’m like, ‘Dude, you live in New Hampshire. How tough are you? Your ‘hood is a cul-de-sac between Happy Lane and Pleasant Street, pal. You and your homeboys are cruising for bitches in the backseat of mom’s minivan.’