Bill Gates goes to purgatory.

St. Peter says, “Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go”.

First, St. Peter shows Bill an image of Hell with beautiful women running on beaches. Then, St Peter shows Bill an image of Heaven with robed angels playing harps on clouds.

Bill chooses Hell.

About a week later, St. Peter checks in on Bill in Hell and finds him being whipped by demons.

Bill says to St. Peter, “What happened to all the beautiful women and the beaches?”

St. Peter replies, “That was just the screen saver.”

A bear was taking a dump in the forest when a rabbit walked by. The bear said, “Hey rabbit, does poo stick to your fur?”

“No,” replied the rabbit.

The bear picked up the rabbit and wiped his butt with him.

Latino women… those are the ones you need to look out for. They’re worse than a black girl — they’ll talk to you slow, but they’ll stab you quick.

I think violence is wonderful, but what I object to in boxing is the total lack of explanation as to what happened between these guys to cause this fight to break out.

This was a really, really big year for me. I got to go home for Thanksgiving and sit at the adults’ table. That’s ’cause, you know, somebody had to die for me to move up a plate.

Page 10 of 11« First...91011