Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.

He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.

The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator says “Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the guy says “OK, now what?”

I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend’s kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.

A young girl with a bag is crossing the customs. Customs officers check her bag and find some kind of powder. They ask the girl:
– What kind of powder is that?
– Heroin
– But heroin is matte-white, and this powder is orange.
– This is a kids’ heroine – orange taste

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