A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?”

The husband replied, “All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry.”

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, “What are you thinking now?”

He replied, “It looks as if I did a pretty good job.”

I told my crush at school, “If you love me, come wearing red tomorrow.”

The next day she came in wearing black!

When she dropped her pen and she bent over to pick it up, I got a look up her skirt at her red thong.

Moral of the story: she really loves me underneath it all.

1. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

2. Why was the guitar teacher arrested?

For fingering a minor.

3 Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?

He only comes once a year.

An old man and an old lady are getting ready for bed one night when all of a sudden the woman bursts out of the bathroom, flings open her robe and yells “Super Pussy!” The old man says “I’ll have the soup.”

 

A woman wearing a strapless gown and sporting a necklace with an airplane on it spotted a young man staring at her.

She asked him, “Were you admiring my airplane?”

He replied, “No, I was admiring the landing field.”

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