Wife calls her husband and says, “Darling, the car is broken, it won’t start.”

“What?! It’s in perfect order, what’s wrong with it?”

“It’s water in the carburetor, love.”

“Oh no, where are you right now?”

“Um, in the little lake behind the house…”

A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair,

“Do you have any last requests?”

“Yes,” replies the murderer. “Can you please hold my hand?”

Mother: “How was school today, Patrick?”

Patrick: “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”

Mother: “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”

Patrick: “What school?”

Black Friday: A day Americans are willing to kill over materialistic things just a day after celebrating what they’re already thankful for.

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