I was bartending in Vegas and this drunk mexican asks me for a shot of tequila and a beer. He was hurting so bad with a hangover..he then asks me for another. I said “You got money? He told me no, but he is hurting so bad that he will do anything for another round…. I looked at him and told him..if you could use these three colors in a sentence, I’ll buy you a round…Green Pink and Yellow. The drunk mexican looks at me, thinks for a second, and tells me..”I got it senor, I got it…The telephone goes green, green, I pink it up, and I said Yellow?” I bought him a round…
An Arab, Frenchman, American and a Mexican are riding down the highway. The Arab picks up an AK-47. He shoots a couple of rounds and then throws the gun out the window. The American asks him why he through the gun out the window and the Arab says they have so many of those where he is from he doesn’t care about what happens to them.
The Frenchman picks up a bottle of wine and drinks a little and throws it out the window. The American asks him why he tossed it. The Frenchman says they have so much of it where he is from he doesn’t care what happens to it.
The American picks up the Mexican and throws him out the window.
Two Americans and a Mexican are exploring in Africa and they stumble upon a tribe.
The chief of the tribe tells the explorers that they are going to get fruit shoved up their butts and if they laugh they are going to get killed.
Luckly, the Chief tells them they get to pick their own fruit.
The two whittes pick berries and the Chief shoves it up their butts.
They both laugh their heads off. In heaven God asks them why they laughed. And the Americans reply,
“The Mexican picked a watermelon.”
A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face. He says, “Mom, look – I’m a white boy!” His mom slaps him in the face and says, “Go show your father.
” He goes to his dad in the living room and says, “Look Dad, I’m a white boy.”
His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, “Go show your grandmother.” The boy goes into his grandmother’s room and say, “Mira, Abuelita, I’m a white boy.”
His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother. His mother says, “See, did you learn anything from that?” To which the boy replies, “Sure did! I have only been white for five minutes and I already hate you Mexicans!”
Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe says to the German, “What do you want on your back for your whipping?” The German responds, “I will take oil!” So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move. The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, “What do you want on your back?” “I will take nothing!” says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch. “What will you take on your back?” the Amazons ask the American. He responds, “I’ll take the Mexican.”
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says ” We’re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive” The four open the door and look out below.
The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers “God Save The Queen” and jumps. The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers “Viva La France” and he also jumps. This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers “Remember the Alamo” and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.
A man found a magic genie who would grant him one wish.
The man said to the genie, “I wish that I had a non-stop bridge from here to Hawaii.”
The genie said, “I’m sorry, but that’s going to be very hard. Do you have another wish?”
The man answered, “Of course! I want the power to understand all women.”
The genie thought for a minute. He replied, “How many platforms did you want on that bridge?”