I like Jesus but he loves me, so it’s awkward.

Q: What’s that thing called when you’re only attracted to married men and gay men?

A: Oh. Single. It’s called single.

Did you hear about the gay security guard who got fired from his job at the sperm bank?

He got caught drinking on the job.

99% of women say they don’t like men who wear leather pants. Which works out perfectly, since 100% of men who wear leather pants don’t like women.

My friends say that I’m gay because I don’t like football. What a bunch of idiots. I’m gay because I like cock.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.

Oh, you’re straight? Well, so is spaghetti until it gets hot and wet.

A man walks into the doctors office and asks for a gay test. The doctor takes a large rod in his hand and says ”  I’m going to shove this up your rectum. If you don’t like it make an animal sound…. if you do sing a show tune.” As he sticks it in her hears… “MOOOOOOnnn river.

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