Little Johnny was only six years old when he tried to feel his sister’s friend’s pussy.

She slapped him and said not to because it has teeth and will bite

. As the years passed, and little Johnny one day grew to become a man, he was sitting in his car with his girlfriend, rubbing her thighs and squeezing her tits, when she said, “Aren’t you going to feel my pussy?”

He said, “I can’t, its got teeth!”

“Don’t be a fool,” she said, “have a look if you don’t believe me.”

So he thought about it, then took off her panties and spread her legs. He looked in and said, “I’m not surprised you haven’t got any teeth with gums like that!”

“If you had a dollar,” quizzed the teacher, “and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?”

“One dollar.” answered little Johnny.

“You don’t know your basic math.” said the teacher shaking her head, disappointed.

Little Johnny shook his head too, “You don’t know my daddy.”

Little Johnny’s Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.

“Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms,” said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water.

The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed.

He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass.

It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died.

“Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?” he asked.

Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, “Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms!”

Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”

Boy: “I saw a strap of your bra.”

Teacher: “Get out! Don’t come to class for the next 1 week. Another boy laughs…”

Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”

Boy: “I saw both straps of your bra.”

Teacher: “Get out! Don’t come to class for next 1 month.” The teacher bends to pick a chalk and little Johnny starts walking out of the class.

Teacher: “Why are you going out?”

Johnny: “With what I saw I think my school days are over.”

Little Johnny is constantly late for school and what’s worse is that he always has a big lie explaining why.

The teacher tells the principal that she has had it with his exaggerations.

The principal tells her to send Johnny to him the next time he shows up late. He will tell Johnny a lie so big that he will never tell another one. Ever.

The next day, Johnny shows up two hours late.

Johnny says, “I was two hours early today so I had time to fish in the pond on my way to school. I caught a 17-pound trout and had to take it home. If I didn’t clean it and freeze it, my mom would’ve been angry. That’s why I’m so late”.

The teacher promptly takes him to the principal’s office and explains the story to the principal.

The principal tells Johnny about his own trip to school that day.

He says, “I was walking to school through the park on the trail today when I heard something behind me. I turned around and was shocked to see a giant grizzly bear behind me. He was 24 feet tall and had 6-inch fangs. He was going to eat me, Johnny! Just then a little dog ran out from the bushes, jumped up and attacked the bear. The little dog killed the bear and then ate the whole bear right there in front of me. What do you think of that, Johnny?”

Johnny replies, “Oh yeah, that’s my dog Sparky. That’s his third bear this week.”

A priest was talking to a group of kids about “being good” and going to heaven.

At the end of his talk, he asked, “Where do you want to go?”

“Heaven! Heaven!” Yelled Little Lisa.

“And what do you have to be to get there?” asked the priest.

“Dead!” Yelled Little Johnny.

One day while Johnny’s dad was just getting out of the shower Johnny looked down and said, “Dad what’s that hanging between your legs?”

“Oh Johnny that’s my nerve and your’s will be this big one of these days”, replies Johnny’s dad.

Anyway the next day while in school Johnny really had to pee so he raised his hand and said, “Miss I really need to go to the bathroom.”

“No, not yet there’s someone gone”, says his teacher.

Not able to hold it in Johnny walks to the garbage can and starts to pee.

Surprised to see her student peeing in a garbage can in front of the whole class the teacher says, “My Johnny you have some nerve!”

Johnny says,”That’s nothing you should see my fathers.”

Little Johnny’s teacher asks, “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.

Do any of you know why his father didn’t punish him?”

Little Johnny replies, “Because George was the one holding the axe?

The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words, she thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more that one syllable.

Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words?

After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday.

Great Jane that has two syllables, Mon……day

Does anyone know another word.

I do, I do, me me me replied Johnny.

Knowing Johnny’s more mature sense of humor she picks Mike instead.

Ok Mike, what is your word.

Saturday. says, Mike.

Great, that has three syllables.

Not wanting to be outdone Johnny says ” I know a four syllable word, pick me…..”

Not thinking he can do any harm with a word that large the teacher reluctantly says, “O.K. Johnny what is your four syllable word?”

Johnny proudly says, “Mas…tur…ba…tion.”

Shocked, the teacher, trying to retain her composure says, “Wow, Johnny, four syllables, that certainly is a mouthful”

No Maam, your thinking of blow job, and that’s only two syllables.

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