Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

Isn’t it great to live in the 21st century? Where deleting history has become more important than making it.

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