A woman wearing a strapless gown and sporting a necklace with an airplane on it spotted a young man staring at her.

She asked him, “Were you admiring my airplane?”

He replied, “No, I was admiring the landing field.”

Yo mama is so fat when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight not your phone number.”

Wife calls her husband and says, “Darling, the car is broken, it won’t start.”

“What?! It’s in perfect order, what’s wrong with it?”

“It’s water in the carburetor, love.”

“Oh no, where are you right now?”

“Um, in the little lake behind the house…”

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