Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship.

As the boat sinks, George Washington shouts, “Save the women!”

George W. Bush hollers, “Screw the women!”

Bill Clinton asks excitedly, “Do we have time?”

We’ve got to have every g**damn nationality at that news desk. I am so sick of that sh*t I could scream. Give me four white guys, four black guys, all women — I don’t care — but do I have to have a g**damn UN meeting every time I turn on the set?

His big thing now is we’ve got to get these evildoers… sounds like we’re living in a giant episode of ‘Scooby Doo.’

I’m from San Francisco, and we like to protest, you know? We protest cars; we protest world trade. Basically, we’re the most progressive city in the world, except when it comes to one thing: progress.

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