I told my crush at school, “If you love me, come wearing red tomorrow.”

The next day she came in wearing black!

When she dropped her pen and she bent over to pick it up, I got a look up her skirt at her red thong.

Moral of the story: she really loves me underneath it all.

“May I take your order?” the blonde waitress asked. “Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?”

“Nothing special sir,” she replied, “we just tell them straight out that theyre going to die.”

1. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

2. Why was the guitar teacher arrested?

For fingering a minor.

3 Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?

He only comes once a year.

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