There are 3 girls on a island. they are blond,

brunette and a black haired.
after 3 weeks of starvation god comes down and says “Go home already. i will give you 1 wish each. use it wisely.
the brunette says “i want to go home!” and poof she goes home.
the black says “i want to go home!” and poof she goes home.
the the blonde says “i want my friends back!”

 

We went to see a movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier.

Just as the feature was about to start, a blonde from the center of the row got up and started working her way out.

“Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me.”

By the time she got to me, I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient, so I said,

“Couldn’t you have done this a little earlier?” “No!” she said in a loud whisper. “The ‘TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE’ message just flashed up on the screen and mine is in the car.”

Blonde walks into a doctors office and says: “Doctor, what’s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts… When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts… When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts… When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!” The Doctor replies: “Your finger is broken.”

There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a new blonde joke. One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn’t dumb. She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals. That night when he got home he told his joke. She says, “I’m not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me.” He thought for a moment and asked, “What is the capital of Massachusetts?” She quickly replied, “M”!

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